inhale, exhale. repeat.

i'm Natalie.
21, single.
i like tattoos, cats, cigarettes, cuddling, and sleep.
i like to keep things simple.
and that's about it.

bettydays:

I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

image

When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

(Source: toocooltobehipster, via pmon3y69)

chrihyonce:

nickelodeon:

David Beckham and his sons get GOLD slimed after he accepts the 2014 KCS GOLDEN blimp!

i bet this is the color of his sperm.

(via lovelooksgood)

greathaircut:

love how kids introduce themselves like “hello im johnny im five years old i know how to read” yeah cool i didnt ask for your life story asshole

(via fuckmestupid)

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

(Source: elderstunningham, via malnourishedkitten)